This week's prompt should have been easier for me to complete, but it wasn't. In fact, it was downright hard. Namely because there are so many quotes that really speak to me. However, as many of you know, life isn't always butterflies, rainbows and fluffy puppies....no, sometimes, life is absolutely shitty and ugly.
Most of you know me as one who's always got a funny line, or a happy, cheerful disposition, but that's not actually always the case. We all wear masks, and often times, they are the exact opposite of what is really going on in our lives/minds. Now, that's not to say, that this quote reflects how I always feel, but the last couple of weeks have been a battle of memories, pain and anger. So, when this week's prompt came around, I couldn't ignore the war raging inside me. I had to get it out on paper and put it out there for the world to see.
As a survivor of mental, physical and emotional abuse, combined with a family history of depression and bi-polar disorder, there are days when I wake up in a total, all-encompassing red haze of anger, bordering on rage. Days when the sound of my children breathing, my husband snoring, gets on my last, badly frayed nerve. Those are the days when I have to work especially hard not to do or say things that I will later regret. Those are the days when I have to eat it all and work at being the good wife and mother that I want to be most other days. Sometimes it's just a day...other times, there are days, even weeks, when I have to eat the pain, the hurt, the anger, the rage, and move with slow and deliberate effort thru my day, to ensure that I am the only one who has to deal with it.
So, here is my response to this week's prompt: Your Favorite Quote
This week I pulled the following supplies out of my cart:
Soft rubber brayer
Liquitex Basics in: Cadmium Red Deep, Alzarin Red and Mars Black
Dylusions Blendable Acrylic in Black Marble
Large Dylusions journal
Moleskine graphed paper
Sharpie Med. point pen
Uhu glue stick
Scraps of various papers
Various rubber stamps - purchased and hand carved
I started with a previously painted background that I was NOT happy with and began gluing down my paper scraps to cover it up and give myself a fresh "canvas" to work on. Then I began laying down paint using a brayer technique (a photo tutorial of this can be found on the Artful Chicks blog under the "Artful Tactics" heading). To get the coverage I wanted, and the balance of color, I had to do a LOT of layers of color. Then, for extra effect, I grabbed my black and used my fingers to add some extra smears of black. Then I laid down some pieces of washi, and using red and black paint, pulled out my stamps, and stamped a few images for textural effect.
While my paint was drying, I got out my sharpie pen and graphed paper and wrote out my quote, drawing rectangles around each individual word to make them pop just a little more. Once I had the words torn out, I began shuffling them around my spread until I had them where I wanted them, then I glued them down onto the spread.
Here are some pics - I got caught up in the creating and forgot to take my process pics of my spread as I went....sorry.
|This is the full shot of the entire spread...it's hard to see the red stamps unless you're right on top of it.|
And here are some close-up shots:
And there you have it....a peek into my head during a rough week. Thanks for looking.